Lose-Lose Conversations

I always think it's awkward when I try begin a nice conversation with someone, but instead, that someone offers a quick jab that seems... just relevant enough to be nonchalant, but comparable enough to leave an impression of "Oh yeah?!? Take that!"  I always hear a record scratch in my head when this happens.  It's never my intent to solicit this type of response.  I've heard this enough times in my life to stop and note aloud humorously, albiet truthfully, "Hey, this isn't a contest, okay?" And with a grin, I move on.  Unfortunately, this happens in ways outside of conversations, and in those cases, there's hardly a chance to address the awkwardness in a friendly manner. So then it just continues to happen. And then it just gets weird.

It's everywhere.  Sometimes it's just that annoying person on a social networking site.  Sometimes it's a relative or a coworker, who passive aggressively tries to one-up with achievements and possessions.  In any case, it's kinda immature, right? It's like saying, "I'm incapable of finding intelligent meaning behind life, and instead of of appreciating what I have, I have to find simplistic associations like 'Me good, you bad.'"

Elementary annoyances aside, the true point of this is just that experiences can't be compared in a quality check of which is better.  There's even the instance when I'll share frustration with my life, and someone will say, Oh yeah? You think your life is bad? Mine is worse, and this is why.  Or they'll respond with a, You don't know until you experience what I am experiencing.  And even worse, You'll never know how bad it can be, and I'll wear this badge of honor for bragging rights that I did. I'm wiser than you because I have this chip on my shoulder.  If there's something that really gets me annoyed, it would be the fact that, as if things in your life weren't hard enough, someone has to be there to shoot you down and say what you're going through is invalid and well, now you just feel even worse.  Fun times.

Well here's the thing.  Good things and bad things in life are relative.  When someone is going through with what seems like the hardest battle, it really is... for them.  We're only equipped with what we have and know.  It's completely moot point to compare what someone else would do or have done in a given situation, because then it would actually change the situation completely.  So my achievements or hardships now means something different than someone's later or before.  Why can't we all just share our lives without getting awkward and competitive about it?  Because right now, it's such a lose-lose situation.  If I join in on this passive-aggressive cold war, there's no end.  The alternative is that I just sit there and hear someone yap on as I roll my eyes over how immature they're being.

Hey people out there, I have a suggestion.  If you're feeling like you have to prove yourself to someone, I've got a shortcut.  It goes like this: recognize that your proof to someone isn't validated until you see that they see you in a certain way.  So what's it to you? Just believe that you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, and instead, fill that need to convince others by directly convincing yourself.  Have some composure why don't you?