Love like Video Games

Like most girls, I've watched a lot of chick flicks growing up.  If that's not an obvious indication of what my idea of romance was, I can spell it out for you: I believed in fate, true love, destiny, happenstance, serendipity, soul mates, "the one."  This is not to assume that my ideal significant other was a close variation of Prince Charming.  But the way I imagined I would meet him would at least be magical.  If it didn't occur magically, then I thought a series of things would happen, leading to a distinct moment where one or both of us would realize we were meant for each other and a lot of running would be involved before a huge declaration of our love and foolishness would be released onto the public.  Ah, l'amour.

But love doesn't just happen.  Also, that crazy notion that two people just somehow meet, have a crazy attraction, act on a "spark" and are now entangled in each other's lives regardless of their stupidity is just ridiculous.  

Instead, I adapted a new philosophy.  And I was shown the way by playing a little bit of online co-op in a first person shooting known to some as Battlefield 3.  Video games are actually quite romantic.  I'm not limiting this to a specific game, but let me share an analogy with you.

Imagine your future goals.  As you're starting your life, would you like to go on easy, medium, or hard?  Well, this wouldn't matter if you were going to play solo.  Then you could do whatever you want.  But if you want to play co-op, consider a few things: first, would your partner feel as motivated to accomplish harder tasks as much as you; secondly, would your partner have what it takes to go through even the final stages with you this way; and lastly, what is it that you want? Would you be satisfied knowing that you tried your hardest together even if you didn't go far, or would you rather just keep it easy and feel content with enjoying what you get?

Consider the teamwork.  This is going to be the person who has your back, sometimes literally.  Do you trust this person to not only consider you, but be able to also consider his or herself equally in combat?  Together, are you stronger by working with both your strengths and weaknesses, or do you let differences get in the way?  Do you find yourselves fighting the same battles over and over, or can you get past them together?  Each person is unique in their own style and it really just boils down to how it matches up with you.  Sometimes it's as simple as that.

Play fair.  Remember, it takes two.  How you divvy that up is up to you.  Generally, the best way to go is equal share in roles.  Obviously, you can't simply split yourselves 50/50, but know that because you're working towards the same goals together as a team, you are ultimately sharing the same battles.  Just because you've got separate stats and equipment, it doesn't mean the decisions you make don't affect the other person somehow.  Now, some people are okay with picking up the slack of their partner.  But be honest: can you handle it?  If you're spending most of your time trying to bring back a man down, who's taking care of your job?  Even if you've got what it takes to take care of the both of youse, are you going to be happy with it? Or are you going to end up resenting your partner for holding you back?  Flip the scenario too.  Are you contributing to the team fairly? Or are you just reaping the points off of your partner?  

Communicate.  Considering the difficulties of what you take on together, the strengths and weaknesses of your team, and even what each person feels like the other is or is not contributing--could make or break what you've got together, but it depends on the communication.  If you're focused on your own target, how are you going to know that your partner needs help unless he or she can ask for it, and most importantly, can you understand the what, when, and how to be there?  If there's trouble headed at 5 o'clock, are you able to speak up or will you just confuse your partner, probably causing a messier, more involved melee combat when the problem attacks head on?  We all have problems.  But to handle issues together as a team, communication is key.

Things don't always work out.  Sometimes you can kind of tell you don't want to start anew with someone who's doomed to fail with you.  Sometimes you can't even tell until you've realized you both have started over again, and again, and for the last time.  But that's the thing.  This is our search.  We try to find the person who is willing to go through it all with us till the final battles.  We want the best ending to share with the person we've stood by all this time.  We want someone we can trust.  It is inevitable that we will get hurt.  There will be a point where we must rely on the other person to carry us through when maybe it wasn't possible to go through alone.  That's the true romance I've learned through video games.  Friendly fire is bad.  Lose the person who makes you out to be the enemy.  This person is supposed to be on your side.  Remember that.

Granted, it won't always be a pretty journey.  You can't always just kick back and let the magic happen.  Because it won't always be a movie, sometimes it's all in your control.  But then again, that's the fun part.  Don't ever forget that in the end, if you're doing it right, you should be having fun.  That is actually the main point of it all, isn't it?