Dear Friends,
I wanted to write everyone a letter. I am horrible with good-byes. I have tried hard to hide it, but I've struggled emotionally with life-changing news. It comes as a good, great thing--but the celebration comes with the caveat of compilations. There wasn't any doubt in my mind when I got the offer that I should accept it. But I know that when I would do so, it wouldn't be easy.
I wanted to write this, because if you are reading this, and you have absolutely no idea what it is about or where I will be in the following months, then I am sorry. This letter is written in guilt to you. You are my friend, and while I love sharing funny, stupid things online, I hesitate to divulge in details of my personal life. I am feeling guilty, because I am guilty of being someone who could wear her heart so openly on her sleeve, yet without enough confidence to speak of it. I know luck hardly has anything to do with the outcome of our decisions, yet I am scared to jinx myself in my next big adventure. I am sometimes so self-conscious, that I don't believe in myself enough to boast my aspirations fearlessly.
If you are reading this, and you do know what I am talking about, thank you for understanding my secrecy. I liken this moment for me as Luke Skywalker training in the Dagobah system, needing full focus and confidentiality. Although I imagine, there would only be so long I could withhold information for, I hope to make this transition quietly.
Lastly, to those who I am leaving, I am sorry I did not properly say good bye to anyone. As I began writing, I am horrible with good-byes. I don't like treating this move as a permanent farewell. I imagine it to be another stop in the long trip I'm traveling. I will visit. Or, rather, return.
See you all, wherever you may be, soon.
I may not be able to express myself as well as you but I will do my best. I'm confident that I speak for others when I say that though we will miss you, we are so proud of you and are so excited for you! In the time that I've gotten to know you I've learned that you are an incredibly smart, funny, and wonderful person. It has been so awesome being your friend and I know that despite the distance we will stay in touch. I can't wait to hear about your new adventures and I know that you will do well. :)
ReplyDeleteGood-byes are so hard on a person when you have so much to give, yet you can't give them what you have because say it's more of something less that is held on to than carried or adored from a distance. Not wanting to lose contact even losing track of where said person will end up, or gone off to. Though this is an old blog, something I gotta start working with, I hope you've said your good-byes to people you atleast are close with, because you deserve the recognition that you're well appreciated as a being.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know for very long, our conversations were held at a minimum, and we didn't say much to eachother, I remember I started as a co-worker on your birthday, that was really dope, though you had aleady had a plan. I enjoyed the time we had together, though we were over due on the together part, I don't mind, it was great to have met you. You're an amazing flower, I'd sort of rip you to pieces just so I can get the essense of your sweet aroma. Not sure if that sounded freaky, or wrong, either way, I wanted to get to know you more, though you having left might've been a sign telling me not to worry, or don't doubt about it.
If something you really want isn't where you are, I say you leave from your position, and go to where you might wanna go. You're living your life, you're old enough to make decisions by your lonesome. It's sorta sad though, sometimes we get put in a place, but its a place we know nothing about, different vibes, atmosphere is kinda off, people act funny, its sort of like a whole new world.
I don't remember what you wrote, but all I know is that you're very talented. You might even have potential to be part a writers circle. Honestly, I don't know what a writers circle is, I just like writting as so do you, and circles are kinda my go to when it comes to shapes. Laughing on the inside. I miss you Diana, I hope all is well, its been a few years or so, I hope you're the same as when we met, I sure am different as well though, bummer right? There's just a lot of life-changing news, like you've stated, and I'm sort of not sure where I'm gonna end up, because so much has been cut off from me, I mean I'm alive, but I'm not well. I sort of became unhealthy after you left me. Crying inside deeply. No, I'm kidding, you didn't leave me, it was more of a see you later, alligator. I haven't had much sleep, sorta did an all-nighter again, well we can talk again soon. Have a great week full of joy and laughter.