Negative on the negging

I absolutely despise any form of negging.  For those who don't know what negging is, it is basically when a guy verbally undermines a woman to make her more vulnerable to him, usually mixing back-handed complements with passive-aggressively insulting banter to twist things into their favor.  Usually, the idea behind this is that if you shake up someone's confidence and work into their insecurities enough, you would have the upper hand and could manipulate their attention to your favor, especially when they try to work harder to fill that oh-so-empty hole you created by crushing their poor soul. (note the mocking tone)

Gross.

I'm going to be honest, I don't really know when it works.  But I'm guessing it works in situations involving deep rooted insecurity issues to begin with.  I don't think negging actually works, I think that when it does, it just happens to fall in line with one's need for self-validation.  Fortunately, when you neg a girl in most situations in a sober setting, you are simply an asshole and people hate you. As they rightfully should.

Well, I came home from work today with the strong impulse to write about negging, because I have had, yet another, day of mean boys.  It's partially my fault; I chose to work at a male-dominated environment and there will always be that one asshole in a group of anything.  On the other hand, it just totally sucks to have to deal with this type of egotistical, misogynist macho-man behavior.  Hey, I'm a person too.  And I'll tell you what, MOST GIRLS DON'T LIKE ASSHOLES.  The unfortunate thing is that most assholes insist on being one, and brag about their "achievements" the most, making push-overs believe that the asshole strategy works.  And when a girl like me tries to tell an asshole to stop being a jerk, you know what happens?

I'll tell you what happens: the assholes think I am being jealous.  They think I am dying for more attention and that I must need them to give me more of some kind of a special treatment.  They think I'm being a princess about shit and I can't handle any form of negativity.  Of course, they're thinking the problem is ME, not THEM.  When I stop talking to them, they think I am just giving them the cold treatment, and I'm still playing a part of their cat and mouse game.  They think I'm into the drama.  This is when they continue to think their negging works.

Well this is complete horse shit.

Most of the time when this happens, I start to say something back, not because I'm falling for this stupid negging trap, but because as a human who is being emotionally evoked, I will have an unhappy response back.  And when I start to get quiet, I am simply past the point of being able to tolerate the negativity and I just do not want to talk about it anymore.  As much as I don't want to admit it, a lot of times, these moments really do hurt my feelings.

Contrary to popular belief, the girl you think that's getting all this attention doesn't always solicit it herself constantly.  You don't have to shut her down all the time thinking that it makes you a better man than the rest.  Look, when I am at work, dudes have their reactions to a girl walking around and most of the time it's positive attention.  But that kind of shit just happens.  I just have to deal with it in my own way in a way I believe is not malicious or awkward.  If you don't want to shower me with attention, that's fine. That wasn't even my intention in the first place.  But the alternative isn't to shoot me down.  The alternative is just to be... (surprise!)... normal!  In fact, I would prefer it if you talk to me like gender-less being.  I actually prefer to engage in conversation--excessive complements unnecessary.

Honestly, most of the things that guys say to me, whether they mean to neg, or subconsciously try not to feed into (what they think is) my need for attention--is still pretty douchey even if you take our genders out of the picture.  I just don't understand this machismo persona some men take into giving me this kind of shit.  If you really need to take out some aggression or prove some kind of male dominance, take it out on someone who cares.  Let's just have a normal conversation without your need to prove that you are better than me or your belief that I'm just some girl who is in dire need of your validation.