In with the Old, In with the New

This isn't a newly created blog; in fact, I created this one last year to tuck away any postings I wrote purely on the impulse of emotion in secrecy.  My original intent in returning to this blog was nothing more complex than merely escaping my more recent collection of immaturely written "drunk" posts.  There were a few things I wrote on a more sober state that I liked from before, most of which I took with me here.  I cleaned up, or deleted--rather, the remaining meaningless posts on this blog here, and voila! Here we are.

But after doing so, I began to recognize a symbolic meaning behind switching between these blogs.  In my own life, I'm beginning to find more clarity, finally. But it didn't come from anywhere purely new.  

Many times, when we so badly want a change in our lives, the first inclination is to follow the adage, "Out with the old, in with the new."  While this strategy may work on a few situations we encounter in life, I find it to be a failed concept to apply on our own life.  I am speaking from personal experience, as a person who's jumped from one phase to another, never truly finding focus from any point.  It took a long time before I began to realize that as humans, we inevitably carry within us what we have experienced and learned.  There is no restart button, though sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that there is one.  

So finally, on my search of who to be, what to do, where I should go... I compiled all the pieces from the past, from myself, and from my experiences, and I realized what I had been looking for all this time was nothing new.  I needed to live for myself, for what I had wanted all along.  But it wasn't easy.  It's hard to separate your own personal thoughts from the rest of society's.  It's inevitable; as humans, we are social creatures and are constantly learning from each other--whether these effects may be positive or not.  Sometimes we don't even notice these subtle changes, so it isn't easy to catch ourselves in each change that could shape our lives.  Even more so, it's hard to overcome layers and layers of others' thoughts over yours.  So I've been trying to strip it down to the basics of what I really want, rediscovering just what it is I'm meant to do.  Though it's nothing new, it almost feels like I'm starting over.  

I can sense, there are a lot of scary things ahead to come.  Change is scary.  But hopefully, with the comfort of knowing that I am returning to an old dream to move forward in my life, I can finally fulfill that meaning of success for what it means to me.